When we travel in strange lands ......

Now I am in Europe, Quite settled.

This is a strange kind of feeling being very far from homeland , in a place which has so many cosmetics to offer(FYI I am out of India for first time).

Frankly , I am feeling like writing a exam on my journey,a test to my character,to my decisions ,thoughts and definitely to my core.

How often we face these kind of situations in our life ?

We are from a very different background , different upbringing , altogether from a very different culture,We have our lenses to see the world.(I am talking about INDIA).

Now I do not know their language or customs , So I no idea on how to communicate or break the ice.

And this is time for me to use two of my favourite weapons
a)smile :)
b)Character

and it worked.

These are really very simple philosophy to apply.

If you can not communicate externally , Your character can communicate on behalf.

I personally think we may not win a fort after a great war but we can definitely win a heart by opening the gate for someone entering to the same fort.

Phenomena is quite clear , give respect have respect. (Work in whole world)

This is very true observation(based on my interaction with different people) that a lot of times many people travel to distant lands and places in search of their internal peace and true love.

Seriously can say it like east running to west(AKON) and west running to east(ISKON).

Literally have seen that now a days people in east leaving responsibilities and families(years old system) in the name of materialistic friends,freedom,networking,career etc and people in west leaving friends, networks and some times settled careers too in search of their inner peace.

(Mumbai)We want to party whole night to feel happy and independent and they want to leave partying to be happy(plus twenty five in Europe).[Just representational]

World citizens , we are either thinking of a sour past or planning for a near to perfect future ,but what about living the moment which is actually the only quantum in our hand.What about doing best with integrity in present.

I feel very general and basic happy gestures to our outer environment can turned out to be those curved reflections of our faces which we all keep on searching in the mirrors.

Really from the bottom of my heart love you all as best teachers of my life, Without you guys,I can not do any self realization or work on myself.

Be Merry :)

Day of my Death

Well this is a interesting exercise, To think about the day of my death how I want it ? What I want people to say about me on that day ? People from all the phases of life , people who are my bosses , people who are my friends , people who are my subordinates or people who are my relatives.

How I want to be remembered on that day ? Like a rude person who always behaved very bad to others , Or as a person who would be remembered as one with usage of worst kind of abusive language, Or as the person who lived his whole life running behind money. ?

We all know what we want on that final day :)

Guys seriously think on this fact for some time,seriously when I started thinking about it , I was easily able to see and identify what changes are required in my life style or in my communication/association to others(getting derived from my fundamental core).

Try this , next time when you meet any person you have not been comfortable with, choose your way of communication based on the assumptions of his speech on that final day "Day of Your Death".

If we can keep that in mind , we can cautiously direct our decisions.

This exercise can be considered really hard or tough initially (Damm I am talking about death :P )

But seriously when I did(On Paper) it became crystal clear , I was able to see basic flaws of my lifestyle and once identified I can work on these immediately.

I can simply see that my visions , thoughts and actions are getting in one line.(No Rocket science in that.)

Yup faced some withdrawal reactions like cold shoulders from some friends with whom I have limited my interactions to save some time from talking nonsense and to utilize the same in doing something meaningful for the preparations of the Day of My Death.

Best example like writing this all here, One day I want you all to talk about this :P.

Jokes apart guys , Do this , Draft this and try to live this , Slowly you will be able to see the changes in your lives.

Yuppy :)......

when we share ?

Ohh I am always jealous , My son is not giving importance to me , He seems happy when he is outside with his friends...:(

My boyfriend/husband is mostly talking and flirting to all other girls in his office , not giving importance to me , I can not tell this directly to him but inside I feel so jealous,Its eating me out.

My girlfriend,She does not want to tell me anything from her office life seems like she wants to live two kinds of life.

I am not happy with the way my relatives are coming and staying in my parental house for long durations , I have to smile but from inside I feel so jealous.

My parents want me to share my new bicycle with my uncle's son but I don't want to do that , Its my new bicycle :(..

General problems that we face almost daily in our life , deep painful problems when most of the times causing deep pains.

So why we can't share ? Why we feel jealous when we have to share ? Why It causes so much of pain when we are forced to share ?

Really tough questions , but have a very simple answer "we do not feel happy in sharing because we do not feel owning them :)"

Taught to me by my one year old niece, her learning of this world is driven by natural process. I love seeing her activities and have noticed one thing related to the natural process of sharing.

If we offer her any new stuff,first she will be examining it for some time and by chance if at the same time we ask her to share or return ,she resists,screams.

But if we leave her with that new stuff till she is satisfied its hers(she owns) then she happily passes it to others , cheerfully :)

Frankly this is a simple learning following laws of mother nature , feeling of sharing has to be followed by feeling of owning , If you are not 100 percent sure that you own something/someone, you will feel pain/jealous in sharing and that other person would never we able to understand your logics or reasons.

I think here we need to decide based on talking to our core , Do we feel owning ? If not then we need to sit and solve that owning issue first , that why we are not feeling in that way and further we need to decide our actions based on the outcome.

Be Merry :)

Dishum-Dishum "I am correct, No I am Correct"

The worst thing to face in our daily lives conflicts, arguments ,non ending debates without any conclusions and then broken relationships or worsen mental situations.But can we control these ?

To discuss the answer let me share a small experience I had on a working day of my Office.

Some days back while working with Chennai branch of our office ,I experienced a small conflict situation with one of our security person.

Working in IT Industry we have a rule to get our bags checked on the main gate.So going by the rules I went to the security person and handed over my bag to him to check.In reply he asked me to open the zips of the bag and to give it back to him in opened condition.
I was kind of shocked thinking of him very rude and lazy, not even willing to open the zips of the bag.I felt bad on his behaviour and kind of protested a little bit.(My way of seeing the things)

Then he replied to me "Sir your bag is expensive and If your zip breaks or anything , I am very poor to get it fixed" So we ask all people to give the bags in open state only.(His way of seeing the things)

Finally we smiled(Our way of seeing the things).

This is what we face daily in our life , We see explain or perceive the world in the way we have been build up(or how we see the things) but we simply tend to forget that other person is also having his lenses to view the same scenario from his or her point of view.

So who is actually right or wrong ? Why not we try to expand our understanding and maturity of others lenses by which they are seeing the world.

And we face this daily , Today one road was full of traffic , I asked one of my friends to explain about it , to say some lines.

My Friend : Hell lot of traffic , such a waste road , pollution :(
Me : Best road of the world , Road to my home :)

From my personal experiences ,I have faced that sometimes when we are under feelings or other factors , we can not see the things clearly and even if we are seeing,we Bart to communicate, to discuss or to share.(Anger,Ego).We try to find the ways to justify our lenses without realizing that other person is also having his/her justification to explanations.

My experience with the security person was like a serendipitous one but every time you can not get so lucky :) ,specially in the interpersonal relationships.

If we want to lead to a happy life in this highly interdependent world then we have to get a new level of thinking.We have to oblige to the fact that for all our understandings , their always exists a different view point and we should be ready to understand it(others thinking) and even more ready to explain ours.(God has given us power of speech to explain and every time silence can't work , specially when you are building relationships :))

Be Merry Guys , Time to change our lenses..I have changed mine and things are more clear now :)

OM "A hello to someone inside you"

This is really an unexpected AHA experience of my life , a sudden glory , a surprise to my core...:).....

In start of this week , I was staying at my brothers place in Noida(Delhi) suddenly in the morning at seven an OM chanting sound started floating in the air.

In our daily routine,We (Todays Youth) have a habit of walking up then getting out of bed and turning TV set on to tune to MTV or Channel V.

Who would like to hear or get a chance to hear OM chantings in such busy schedules..:)

But Really this was a different surprise experience for me,It seemed like that voice is directly communicating to someone staying deep inside me and getting the responses.

The feeling was really great something for which I do not have any words to explain.

Have you noticed numerous time old people(India) greeting us with "Hari OM" then of hello or hi , So whom they actually greet before talking to us :).

Try this thing guys.

Download OM chanting or Your favourite music(9 out of 10 will answer sufi/Sindhi or gazals as your souls choice) or MP3 for any of Mantras of Vedas...,Or any kuran verses, any sort of music which your soul can listen to.(And if not able to decide then go for OM OM OM OM).

Get it in your mobile phones....Listen to it for at least fifteen minutes before starting your day in the morning.

Do it for some days , If you feel like sharing post what you feel after that , If you can notice any changes in your daily life patterns.

Well I am kind of doing it and I can feel some deep changes.

Its like feeding a hungry baby inside you :) ...

Cheers Guys ..Lets keep on exploring :)

What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say.

What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say.

Once said by Emerson , So what does this phrase means ?

In our life we meet two kind of people , One we trust absolutely(no matter we fight or be friend with them) and one we can not trust(we be with them , we may claim loving them but we can't trust).

So where this trust factor comes from , from our past experiences , from our learnings or from our personality ?

Lets take an example from my life , I know one of my friend who does not have any interest in football,but one day I heard him discussing and lecturing about football clubs in the group of a football lover crowd of his office and he was explaining the game really well , I was amazed with the passionate(fake) way,he was delivering his knowledge of the game.

Every one was kind of impressed but seriously I was not able to hear a single word of what He was saying, I was sitting with a smile on my face and their was something else from his core which communicated to me.

This is where the trust factor lies , It flies from the roots of your character ,your inner strength , your being of you. This is really a hard step and time consuming process of life but if we can learn this we can be trustworthy to anyone and we would be able to understand the process to trust anyone very easily.

If we talk about Anna Hazare,Suppose some one tells us that he has demanded twenty acre land to build his mansion, Can we believe it ?

No , and we know the answer why , We trust him and why we trust him cause we know his fundamental character very well.

Frankly , In my experience and work field, I have trained a lot of people from their school life to college life and college life to corporate life and have observed and seen them from their very basic roots to the process of getting adopted to corporate culture.

And out of those their has been very few , who have been able to safeguard their character strength.

Most of them I have seen gaining a temporary happiness and loosing permanent one while trying to be part of happening groups or to get attached to partying people, their bosses etc.Applying numerous fake methods , interests and working against their basic characters.

And finally complaining that we are not happy with the job environment and later searching their happiness in all possible dimensions , ending travelling the same circle again and again.

And if their is any one who have a understanding of the core can easily see through them what they are and the phrase " What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say." gets applied.

I am sorry If I hurt any of you by bringing these topics out in my article but serious If at any point of time in our life , If we ourself can not trust on our volatility of decisions , If most of answers to our questions are like "I don't know" then their should be no expectation that any one else would be able to trust us for a long lasting happiness(temporary can still be worked out).

At last what I am able to understand from all of this that more then our voice or actions , Its our character which communicates for lasting impressions.

So we can claim or project us in any way(temporary) but can not run from what we are(permanent).

Can feelings be controlled ?

This is really interesting and a true art of mastering yourself ,Controlling your feelings.

But for that first we try to understand what these feelings are and from where they are getting derived.And most important have we become a functioning of our feelings ?

Today , I am writing this blog from Chennai airport, I am returning to home after around two months. Yesterday , I got numerous calls and messages from my friends and students I met and taught in Chennai and Its a heavy feeling to leave so many relations , But why ?

Ok a simple answer to this can be attachments caused by a natural process of belonging to someone.(Common to all human beings).

So what should I do ? One common reaction(which most of us will do) can be to loose control over my core and to further feel more sad or after doing a deep thinking I can respect these and treasure with smile.

So I feel We can control these feelings by choosing our response to them, Yes I am leaving this city but with smile, lot of learning , and with great experiences :)..

One thing for sure guys,I have learnt from my experiences that when feelings(anger or love) controls us , We are tend to do mistakes , big mistakes which my result in life changing patterns.

I have done this many times and have seen numerous people doing the same....

If you would have read the novel Captain Corelli's Mandolin or seen the film , There is a famous definition for love as below :

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ''in love'' which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two".

This is what I can easily relate my understanding of functioning of feelings , They are important but not supreme.

Supreme is something which is left after the feelings have passed , residing on very top of these.

If ever in life one can understand and connect to this supreme , His life would not be a functioning of feelings.....He would be a able to choose responses based on the understanding of something getting derived from the core.

Lets see how much , but If we can understand the very end, We would be able to choose our correct paths.....our responses...

Search is on :)