Whatever I do I am not happy :(

Well the most common syndrome with at least 90 percent of my friends working in IT or other private sectors , We are earning good , getting good salary , position every thing fine but I am not happy.

To be very frank , I am not a different of those.Up to some days back I was also struggling with the same syndrome and that too on all fronts of life.

We all face bad relationships in life,haunting dreams,low self esteem and most important question of identity crisis like where are we going or where we would be after 10 years.

Like all , I too faced these situations numerous times and have made desperate attempts for self discovery,like travelling to distant locations,meeting numerous people,trying almost all the formulas to get happiness from outside world.

Sometimes even thought of trying those ready to quick fix yantra/mantra on TV channels but again no result :( .

So I came back to my basic question "Why I am not happy" ?

and this lead me to another interesting question "Who am I" ?

I am the person "who is a great teacher for all my students" , I am the person "who need to be a great lover for my spouse" , I am a person "who has to be a great responsible son in law for my in laws" or I am the one "who want to be the best employee of all" or the one Who has to be an MBA or something big in future" or may be one "who is going to be happy only after great success in business"


Doing a detail thinking on this , I realized that these are what my mere reflections from outer world (How i want to fit in to that),Not me actually.....then the basic question still remains open "Who am I" ?

Further thoughts directed me in to more depths of my heart , Starting from my nursery class to my school system, There were always two kind of understanding I got from this world , One what I have been taught by external systems to be successful and competitive.

Second what I have been taught by my internal system,from my core , from the natural process of development equally applicable to all human beings.

For example , Those days If I use to see a candy fallen on the floor their were two explanations for my reactions.

School/Parents - Don't pick its dirty.
My Heart - Pick it , eat it be happy.

And if no one is seeing , I will definitely pick and eat "being happy" , This may sound like a stupid example if you see from a outer frame but if you see from inner frame , you will be able to see where our real happiness lies.

Truly , If I know "who I am" and I accept it only then I found myself close to my permanent happiness. Try this thing tomorrow if you get a chance choose any one activity which was your favourite during your childhood days , Like may be cycling or ride on your dad's scooter it can be anything....and repeat it ...Don't judge your activity by any social mirror ....right/wrong any way...just do it....and write what you feel after that.

Really I am not a saint or Guru ..but I have done mistakes , many many mistakes , experimenting too much with life in search of something which has been lying deep in me only.......

Right now , I can say I am on a path of self discovery and whatever I learn , I would be sharing with the world.

You can say this is like a journey to my soul and a chance to discover most deep inner traditions and secrets of happiness .

But yeah for sure ,By documenting and sharing these with the world , I am doing something which makes me happy :)